Some people are brave and can go bravely into the world. I am not one of those people. I choose to hide me on the inside, and this is my story.

Wednesday, December 21

Ugh. Seriously.

I have decided I should be more adament about posting on this blog. I have another blog where I do not post incognito, but come one, I am so NOT going to link this page to that page cause you just know someone would come here, click on the link, and BOOM! they figure out this is me too. Granted, some of the people that read my "other blog" would care less, some even know that I am bi- or at least that I have tripped aimlessly down that path before, but the others...? Yeah, too much to deal with.

I am kinda at one of those proverbial turning points in my life. I am about to start Grad School, I am starting a new teaching job after the Holidays, and I am seriously considering building a house. I also think I want to start working on a personal relationship in my life. I have no shortage of friends to hang with so my social life is great, but I am thinking something a little more cuddly would be good for me. When it comes to dating I am completely schizo. I last "dated" the gal who is now my best friend for all intents and purposes. Hell, except for the fact that she is married, we are still dating. Seriously. And I wonder why I can't seem to find a relationship of my own. As much as I love the company of women, and that is where my brain/heart goes first when considering a new relationship, I kinda want to date a guy. Lately, men are the place "other" parts of me are going. For me, there is just something safer dating a guy. AND THAT MAKES NO SENSE! I am not going to "come out" so people will always wonder if we are "just friends," but I always think about the long term effects. Ugh.

I think I have just wacked my psyche. Poor thing. It can't keep up with my deranged emotional ramblings. My newest obsession is scanning gay-related blogs. I think I am looking for inspiration. I will be in The Queen City for New Year's Eve with a nice mix of friends of the "could care less" variety so we can hit the gay clubs for New Year's. Maybe that will be just the inspiration I need.


Post a Comment

<< Home